I’ve been working on my patience.
Well, the Lord has given me some opportunities to grow in my patience.
That’s the thing. When we pray,so many of us just ask to be good, ask to get better. But the Lord doesn’t always give us what we want, when we want it. Our planning and timing isn’t necessarily the right plan or the right time. And instead of automatically giving us what we want, He gives us the chance to grow in our strength, in our endurance. So no matter how hard it may seem to love that one person that you’re really struggling to love, or to get up from a fall, God always has a plan that is absolutely perfect for you in the end.
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. ” -Jeremiah 29:11
Honestly, sometimes life sucks. As a believer who grew up in the church, I learned from when I can remember all of the things you’re not supposed to do as a Christian. I thought I could be perfect if I just, tried hard enough. I spent so much of my life trying to figure out how I could get my life to go the way I wanted it to, the way I thought it was supposed to be. But God really has a sense of humor. I can just see Him, laughing to Himself thinking, “Oh dear. Why would you do that? Why would you think that?” I think He thought it was funny that I thought I could do it on my own. Not sinning when I wanted to, pleasing people how I wanted to.
And one moment as I’m walking through my life with a huge, butt-load of weight in my hands, I slip. Not necessarily always a plundering, devastating, break-your-leg kind of fall, but just a slip. A moment where everything kind of happens in slow-motion. One moment I was holding everything on my own, and the next, I’m on the ground, and so is all the stuff I was trying to keep in my arms. First is the sadness, thinking everything is on the floor and I’m getting dirty. Then the next is guilt, how could I drop such valuable, important stuff! After that is the anger- pointing my finger at someone other than me, usually God.
“God it was all under control how could you let me drop it how could you let it fall from my hands?”
All He responded was, “So I could carry it for you.”
That is when we grow. When we are down at the ground, desperate to get back up, desperate for something to go right. We are vulnerable- I am vulnerable. I realize that with His wide, unconditional embrace, He is wiling to give me so much more than the “things” I am holding. He gives my brain wisdom to know what to carry, muscles the strength to endure more, and armor to protect me against the blows. He is still there, He wants me to know that. When I rely on Him, He not only gives us what we need, but He directs us down the path He wants us to go. For those who want to take their own path, would you rather lead yourself into maybe a road that could possibly make you happy for a while? Or would you rather follow the One that created you; your DNA, your personality, the One who because He is perfect, guides you in a way that will bring you up to exactly who you were made to be!
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
So I continue to grow, and I won’t stop until I meet Him. As hard as it can be to make things go your way, for once, try not to. Maybe your way, isn’t the best way. Maybe the only reason that you feel stuck, like you’re not going anywhere, is because you’re not allowing the Lord to help you. He is the ONLY ONE who can protect you from the hardship and pain that comes from being on the wrong path. But do these things still happen? HECK YES. Give it all to Him, He knows where your unfaithfulness leads, and He wants to protect you from those things that come with it. (Proverbs 13:15)
Thank you Lord for giving me a spirit of endurance!